The do’s and don’ts of funeral attire

Attending a funeral can be an incredibly emotional and overwhelming experience.

When navigating the loss of a partner, family member or friend, it’s safe to say that thinking about what to wear will likely be furthest from your mind. But when it comes to paying respects, understanding funeral etiquette and how to dress appropriately can give you peace of mind and make the occasion a little less stressful.

While you don’t necessarily have to wear black to a funeral, some rules, like avoiding bright colours and adhering to cultural sensitivities, shouldn’t be ignored. By understanding what funeral outfits are most appropriate for the occasion, it can help you select clothing that is respectful to the funeral or memorial service.

In this helpful guide, we’ll discuss the do’s and don’ts of funeral attire so you can ensure your outfit is respectful of those who have passed, while ensuring you feel comfortable at a time of great loss.

Your complete guide to what to wear to a funeral

While most funerals tend to stipulate an all-black dress code, some cultural differences or religious sensitivities may suggest mourners wear other attire. Whether there is a personalised theme or request made by the family of the departed, or you need to factor in location and seasonal weather, here’s what to consider when dressing for a funeral.

Do consider any cultural sensitivities

In our multicultural society, it’s not uncommon to attend a funeral that may follow different customs and traditions than your own. Cultural sensitivities should always be a priority when considering funeral attire, as wearing something inappropriate (such as revealing clothing, open-toed shoes or even short sleeved shirts) may unintentionally cause offence.

While most people think of wearing all black or conservative colours to a funeral, this will be marked differently depending on the cultural background. For example, in some cultures, colours like white, purple, and green each have symbolic meanings associated with death and loss and may be appropriate to wear to mark the occasion.

For example, it’s common for mourners at a Hindu funeral to wear all-white clothing to show respect to the deceased and their family.

Researching the customs and traditions of the specific culture of the person that’s passed is important and can help inform your choice of attire. Be sure to dress conservatively for this solemn occasion, consider any direction provided in the funeral notice and consider contacting the immediate family or friends for advice if you’re unsure.

Keep Reading: Learn what to say to someone when their spouse passes away.

Do stick to neutral, conservative colours

Today, funerals tend to conjure images of an all-black dress code; however, this tradition dates back many centuries. The earliest record of wearing black garments to mourn the death of loved ones, dates back to the Roman Empire. Instead of wearing the iconic white toga we recognise the Romans for, people chose to wear a darker-coloured toga when in mourning.

Since then, others have chosen to do the same. When her husband, Prince Albert, died in 1861, Queen Victoria donned all-black for the funeral and continued to wear only black clothing for the rest of her life. Ultimately, black is widely recognised as the colour of mourning in many cultures, representing grief, loss, and respect for the departed. As a result, it’s become the go-to choice for funeral attire.

While you don’t have to wear black to a funeral, you should stick to neutral, conservative colours in order to be respectful. Colours like grey and navy blue strike a balance between being versatile enough to suit cultural and personal preferences, while also reflecting the solemnity of the occasion.

Similarly, white can also be worn, particularly in some cultures, wearing white is viewed as the traditional colour of mourning, as it symbolises purity and peace.

Don’t wear statement pieces or bold colours

Unless otherwise stated by the family or loved ones of the deceased, it’s safe to say that a funeral is not the time to make a bold fashion statement and direct the spotlight on yourself. It’s best to blend in and avoid bold colours by opting instead for neutrals, allowing the focus of the day to be on the deceased.

Likewise, statement pieces should be avoided. Don’t wear anything too revealing or low-cut; instead, stick to modest necklines and hemlines so you’re dressed comfortably for the occasion while still looking respectful. This should also be noted when it comes to accessorising. If you want to wear jewellery, make sure it is toned down and appropriate for the occasion, such as avoiding statement neck chains.

If you’re wearing a black suit, don’t choose a fiery red tie or neon scarf that will prove distracting and draw attention away from the ceremony.

Do plan for the location of the funeral

Like any event, it’s important to consider the location to ensure your attire is practical. If heading overseas for the funeral, be sure to check the seasonal weather prior to departure.

Depending on the season and the weather forecast, it may be necessary to bring an umbrella, jacket, hat, or shawl that will ensure you’re both prepared and dressed comfortably for the elements. This is also vital if the funeral is outdoors, in which case you may want to bring a coat or sweater should it get chilly.

Understanding the location is also important when it comes to footwear. Funerals often involve a lot of time on your feet or walking in a cemetery. While sneakers are too casual and can be seen as disrespectful to mourners, consider the terrain to ensure your choice is practical. Pumps, boots, suit shoes or enclosed flats are good options so you can be comfortable while paying respects.

Keep Reading: Learn everything you need to know about funeral planning in the digital era.

Don’t opt for casual clothing

Whether it’s an all-black dress code or not, funerals don’t mean you have to come wearing a tuxedo or evening gown as a means of paying respects. However, the occasion is an important one and that means avoiding casual clothing.

From ripped jeans and sneakers to shorts, t-shirts, and sweatpants, these garments should be avoided unless the family has requested that those in attendance dress casually.

The etiquette for funeral attire is the same for all genders: opt for business-style attire that is respectful and conservative. Most importantly, dress up rather than dressing down to avoid being seen as too casual. If in doubt, ask yourself what you would wear to a business meeting or job interview.

From choosing knee-length dresses to avoiding jangly jewellery, these choices can help ensure you choose a respectful and conservative outfit that doesn’t cause too much distraction or place a spotlight on yourself.

Funeral outfit ideas for men

For men, funeral etiquette typically means wearing a suit. While a tie isn’t always required, it can be a respectful addition and ensures you’re dressed up for the occasion. If a dress code has not been provided by the deceased’s family, consider the following:

• A dark-coloured suit (black, navy blue, grey, or charcoal)
• Slacks and a button-down shirt (with or without a vest)
• Slacks and a sweater
• Boots, loafers, or dress shoes
• Avoid wearing jeans, shorts, sneakers, baseball caps, non-collared or sleeveless shirts
• Avoid wearing sandals or sneakers

Funeral outfit ideas for women

When it comes to funeral attire, women should avoid anything that’s too revealing or immodest. From low-cut tops and exposed midriffs to form-fitting clothing that draws attention, it’s best to dress conservatively.

When planning your attire for a funeral service as a woman, consider opting for:

• Pantsuits in subdued or neutral colour palettes
• Skirt suit in conservative colours, including black, charcoal, or navy blue
• Knee-length dress
• Skirt or slacks paired with a blouse or sweater
• Closed-toe shoes that are flat or with a small heel
• Avoid skirts and dresses that hit above the knee
• Avoid athleticwear, denim, sundresses, uncovered shoulders, shorts, and tennis shoes or casual sandals

Plan ahead for peace of mind

Funerals are often unexpected, and navigating grief during this time can feel overwhelming, leaving you with little room to think about anything else.

You may be able to take the financial strain of funeral costs out of the equation by comparing funeral insurance with Choosi. Consider having protection in place your loved ones from the cost of your funeral. Compare online or call 1300 364 619 to get started.